In April I wrote about old friends and how great they are. I was emotional, admittedly, because emotions are always sort of cray for us Hokies around middle of April, especially when it comes to thinking about friends and friendships.
But because I like to be fair [do I? I don’t know. Maybe I don’t. But for today, I guess.], we gotta talk about new friends.
Because I’ve made some new ones and guess what? They rock.
There really is nothing like meeting new people and trying to figure if / which one will be “The One.”
Your Person. Your Grown-up Bestie. Your Lunch Bestie. Your Business / Work Bestie. Yoga Bestie. Coffee Shop Date Bestie. Skype Bestie. Husbands Are Besties Bestie.
Just now realizing that “bestie” is one of those words that starts to sound weird if you say it over and over again. Bestie. See?
Almost a year ago, I went to a networking event like a good little small business owner, and met a girl. She also has a small business, and she was super friendly, and super pretty, and like, was totally the cool chick at this event, so obvs I’m all like attached to her hip the whole time trying to let some of her coolness waft off of her and onto me.
If high school left me with a complex, it is for sure that I just want to be cool, y’all.
We exchanged business cards, naturally, because putting that shit in your phone at a networking event is like too futuristic. It’s like an unwritten rule at these events. We all pay too much for business cards (at least, design-y people do, thanks to our collective obsession with Moo #amiright don’t deny it you guys), so we want to flaunt them like suburban moms flaunt big diamonds and tennis skirts and stories about the latest trip to St. Barth’s at the country club.
So then I emailed her like immediately the very next day, before I lost my nerve.
Over eager much?
I felt like I was dating, except if I wanted to be her friend, I knew I couldn’t play hard to get like I did with my now-husband. [Hi: hard-to-get WORKS, but not with friendships.] I wanted to get to know this girl, we needed to like, meet up, have wine, get a little tipsy, and see if we both liked the same TV shows pronto.
It was so much like dating, I started to feel way awkward. What if she didn’t like me? What if I said something weird? What if she had opposite political opinions than me and we couldn’t avoid it? What if I have Crazy Chick Hair when we meet up and she’s like, wtf? What if I was too eager and she didn’t like me as much as I liked her? What if I’m stage 5 clinger and she’s too cool for me!?
Getting to know this girl + letting her know me was a challenge. It requires follow-up. Honestly. Dropping the BS. It flexes all of those muscles you don’t have to use with friends who have known you since you had That Incident with The Jello Shots when you were 18, and loved you anyway and love you still.
Sometimes it’s really hard to overcome all of those memories. They are SO STRONG. POWERFUL.
But nothing feels (yeah I’m overdoing it with the absolutes here but let’s just go with it) as good as exploring yourself again with someone who doesn’t know anything about you or your relationship to jello shots. It feels good to slowly discover that you have the exact same taste in TV, bonding over Rory’s ridiculous boyfriend situations, finding out you’re obsessed with same hair products, and realizing you have the exact same taste in nine out of ten Very Important Things.
It’s almost like a confirmation of self, finding new people to share you with. And funny when you come to the realization that your new people are nothing like your old people. Or maybe not funny, since the old you is really nothing like the new you. Or at least, different and changed enough that you surprise yourself. With who you are, with who you associate with, with who you want to give pieces of yourself to.
Thanks be to God, she liked me, and she was truly as cool as I thought she was and not like, a shallow biotch or something. And we’re friends now. I even text her occasionally without real purpose. We talk about our PERIODS like, that’s how you know, ya know?
And maybe this chick isn’t my bestie. Maybe we aren’t soul mates. But maybe we are. And I just have to wait and see. And isn’t that the fun part?